Mothers Day Tea

Today I should have taken the day off.   I should have dressed you up in your Sunday best.   We should have been together at the Kindergarten Mothers Day Tea.     I miss you so much.  

Best Buddy

Allison misses her "best buddy"......she misses playing with you and making trouble with you.    Thomas doesn't play with her the way that you did.   She had a constant playmate and best friend and brother all in one.   It is so unfair that it was taken away from her and from you.   We all miss you so much.   We had steak for dinner, your favorite.   It just isn't the same.    I saw my old zoo pass in my purse that said "3 children" today, just can't bring myself to get rid of it.   Our insurance card still has your name on it.   I dread the day when the one will come and you are left off.   Love you sweet boy.

:-(

Please come back......I so wish there was a way

You missed it

You missed my birthday again last week.  It just isn't any fun without you.   Just means I am closer to seeing you again.

April 22

A year ago today, we laid your body to rest.   I got to look at you and touch your face one last time.   I fixed your shirt and made sure you had your favorite pillow.   I kept your favorite blanket for me.    We left you with notes from your friends and a few army men.   Also a bear that Thomas and Allison put their pictures and notes in.    We said goodbye then had to leave you at the cemetery.   I visit you often.   I don't know if you know or not.   I try to keep your vase decorated in things I think you would have enjoyed.    I know you aren't in that cemetery, but it's the closest thing I have to "visiting" you.   My birthday will come again tomorrow.....it isn't the same without you.    It's hard to celebrate with someone so important missing.    Love you so much sweet boy.

1 year without you

It feels like yesterday and then again it feels like this year has drug on......I can't believe you have been gone for a whole year.   I miss you and love you so much.    We worked on your garden.  Still wish you had been here to landscape and play in the dirt with us.   You would have loved it.    I would give anything to have you here by my side.   Anything.   Miss you so much sweet boy.   

Good Friday

The dates are different, but last year we spent Good Friday planning your funeral.   I miss you so much.   It's not fair.  I should be making you an Easter basket.  You should have hunted eggs.   You should be leaving for vacation with us on Sunday.   I think I will forever associate Easter weekend with the timeline of your death.   You weren't supposed to go first.   I wish somehow that it could have been me.   I'd give anything for you to be here instead.